What this Blog is About

I am a female football fraud. By the end of the 2010 season, I plan to go from a talker to a knower and crush the game predicting competition. Why do I call myself a fraud? Click here to find out!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Vikings vs Saints

Vikings: The "Pant's on the Ground" locker-room rendition last week was a wonderful end to a great game. A lot of people are accusing the Vikings of thugishly running up the score. I don't see the problem. The hare should underestimate the tortoise. They may have the best defense in the league, but the Saint have the better offense.

Saints: Brees said this week that the 13-0 team were going to show up, not the 0-3 team. The home field advantage is going to be as important of a factor this week as it was last week for the Vikings. More importantly, Farve is overdue for an interception.

It is with a heavy heart that I must predict the Saints to win this one.

I don't dislike the Saints and would love to see them crush the Jets if they face-off in the Super Bowl.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Pre-Cognition: The Jets Win the Super Bowl

It doesn't matter who they play, I think they have it sealed up. They beat the Colts once, and I think they can do it again. No matter who wins out of the Vikings vs Saints game, the writing is on the wall. The defense rocks.

Good for Mark Sanchez, I guess. Seems to be a trend to have rookie QBs go all the way this past decade. The only bummer is I am going to have to listen to Greenie go on about it until next playoff season. He did say he would take 5 years of nothing in exchange for one Super Bowl, so we will see is that is true.

Jets vs Chargers

So the Jets did great last week. Bully for them. Can the coach shut up now?

Jets: I stand by my comments from last week. I think the Jets have faith in their own hype which is being escalated by Rex Ryan, at least in the news conferences I have seen. It is going to take more than belief in your superiority to come after San Diego.

Chargers: I guess at this point I think rest is key. At the beginning of the season Mike and Mike had them going to the super-bowl against the Eagles and I had no idea why. After looking at their record, now I get it, sort of.

My Pick: Chargers (I really don't feel one way or another about it though)

THe best part about this game is watching it at BW3s and chowing on some wings!

Cowboys vs Vikings

Or as so many of the commentators pronounce it, Kaboys.

Well, this is the game where Romo proves himself one way or another. Will the roaring crowds get to him? Will Adrian Peterson sack him more than 3 times? Will he hurt his pinky finger again? Or is this the game where he demonstrates all the praise he has been getting lately is fully justified proving you don't have to be a first round draft pick to be a champion?

And speaking of late in the draft, this is also the game where Brett Farve can stick to all of the commentators who think he should have retired 2 years ago as a Packer. Of course he could also show himself to be a wishy-washy old man much to the delight of most of the commentators out there who wish they could have played into their mid 30s let alone 40s. It all happens in a couple of hours and I will probably cower in a corner afraid to watch.

Cowboys: They have had an awesome run the past few weeks, but demolishing the same team twice after the Eagles had obviously given up is not great practice against a well rested Vikings team. They did beat the Saints at home and broke their winning streak after coming off 2 losses to the Giants (yeah!) and San Diego (smaller yeah). But is the fervor of a winning streak or loosing streak the fire that fuels their wins?

Vikings: Home field advantage could be the big tipper here since it seems Vikings fans have truly embraced Farve. They came off some late season losses and are hungry for the Superbowl. I also think the rest will help them out more than continuous play. A lot of the talking heads say the lack of training camp when Farve walked on the team is starting to show - maybe. But maybe not wasting it all in the beginning is what has gotten him this far.

My Pick: Vikings (and yes, this is an emotional and hopeful pick!)

Friday, January 15, 2010

Colts vs Ravens

My mother really wanted me to marry Peyton Manning . . . . before Fred came along, of course! Living in proximity has made me a fan and it is one of the few pro-teams I have seen play live (in the 90s in the old-old domed stadium).

Colts: Has Manning cooled off since what, by all rights, should have been a 16-0 season going into the playoffs? Not sure, but of all the teams who have a week off, this is the one that I think is most vulnerable. They have had a lot of come from behind wins this season, but they cannot risk that 2 minute warning save this week.

Ravens: Ahh, my saviors last week. And what a lead right off the bat! They have proven they can win against a big team in their own house and score big leads in the first quarter. They have a lot of fire and a lot of confidence right now, and it could carry them or kill them.

My pick: Colts (maybe a little fandom influence)

Cardinals vs Saints

Of all the games this weekend, this is the one I am the least nervous about because I will feel the same no matter who wins.

Cardinals: Unless they win the Superbowl, I predict this is not Kurt Warner's last season. Last week, despite winning in a nail-biter overtime after allowing the Pack to continually catch-up after a substantial lead, I thought they showed themselves much stronger than the talking heads had them. Especially after two of talking heads were wearing silly hats today (aheem, Mike and Mike). This season, they have done better away than at home, and the Saints have quite the whooping crowd of fans.

Saints: Well who doesn't feel good after a week off, right? But who doesn't feel bad after being so close to an undefeated season only to blow it, big time? I get the feel the boys are going to get it back together for this game and give a good fight. And Brees had better show us something or else he is going to be pegged as a QB who looks good in dress rehearsal but wets his pants when the curtain goes up.

My Pick: Saints

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Wildcard Week in Review

I am zero and four.

Of the four games, I only watched about 3 quarters total but listened to 2 hours of pre and post game commentary.

Cowboys vs. Eagles: Tony Romo does not have a career in announcing or commentating after life on the field. During a psych assessment, we have do describe affect and his was FLAT. You would think for a the first playoff win since 1996 there would be some emotional expression but he kept repeating himself and stuttering in a drone tone. The game was not even a game.

Bengals vs. Jets: Well, bummer. Another dull game that I thought would be a bit more rough and tumble.

Patriots vs. Ravens: There is still a warm spot in my belly after this blowout. We were on our way to brunch when the game started and by the time we got there, the Ravens had scored 2 touchdowns, and a table of people by the bar were holding there ears and yelling at us "we are taping the game nananananananananana." Phft. Probably Pat fans. And thus the demise of a 21 year record of winning playoff games at home.

Cardnals vs. Packers: Fred said this would be the most interesting game of the weekend and he was right. I was really happy for Warner, especially if this turns out to be his last NFL year. I think this will probably be the last year Greenbay is not considered a top contender after the near comeback.

This coming week is when all of the good stuff happens and hopefully I will call at least one game correctly.

Patriots vs Ravens

My dislike of Tom Brady knows no bounds. The fact he was off an entire season and the talking heads just assumed he would waltz back on the team and win a 5th Super Bowl ring annoys me to no end. And Bill Belichick - not since Jimmy Johnson at Miami (you can't spell scum without "UM") or Dallas have I disliked a coach more. How in the world can everyone know you are a cheater and it be okay to the point where the NFL just destroys the evidence? The guy is heralded as this wonderful coach who studies and solicits improvements from other teams he admires and, other than that one bad call earlier this season (I forget which game, something to do with a 3rd and 4 or something), he is still considered a stand-up coach.

Arrrrgggg - my blood pressure!

I can't name a single player from the Ravens, but what I do know is they were beat by the Patriots earlier this season and the Patriots just don't loose at home in the post-season.

Nail in the coffin.

My pick: Patriots (#?@!?$%^@(&@$*@^^@%!^@ and ^$*!^!@?!#%)

Ketchup vs Mustard

Well, that is what my niece called the Greenbay vs Cardinals game last week.

Many of the commentators say Aaron Rodgers is one of best QBs in the league right now. I don't get it, largely because my elementary understanding of football begins and ends with who got to the playoffs and the Super Bowl most recently. I get that it takes a team to win a championship, I just am not sure what makes a good QB aside from getting the ball to a receiver and not allowing interceptions. This is a large part of what makes me a football fraud - I am listening to commentators instead of watching the game.

So far all of the teams who got crushed last week are getting crushed this week, which leads me to believe Greenbay wins this week. However, one of the reasons the Cardinals got stomped was because they pulled Kurt Warner, one of my favorite QBs, out early. They have not had the best record at home this season though, so I don't consider it an advantage. I really wanted them to win the Super Bowl last year and I will root for them today as well. If Greenbay wins it means a potential 3rd game this season with the Vikings - yawn. I do like Brett Farve (what can I say, I like guys in the 40s - less than a decade to go Fred!) and would rater see the too "oldies" battle it out than have another grudge match that has to be wearing a little thin for Rodgers.

My Pick: Greenbay (but GoOoOoO KETCHUP!!!).

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Bengals vs Jets

By all rights I should be a Jets fan since I grew up in Schenectady, NY, but I have always been apathetic. Even though we live in Louisville and Cincinnati is the closest NFL team, I am equally ho-hum. Given that both Mark Sanchez and Chad JOHNSON (do I really need to call him Eight Five?) are on my every growing do-not-like list, this is, like the Cowboys-Eagles match, a don't care wild-card game.

Jets: How do you spell inconsistency? I spell it S-A-N, well, you get my point. Despite last week's win, I don't think this team has the juice to go all the way, no matter how pretty the QB is. They should not pat themselves too hard on the back for breaking the Colts undefeated record since the loss was planned. Nothing in their win record is particularly impressive unless you count the one against the Patriots in the beginning of the season before Brady got his mojo back.

Bengals: These guys have had a lot of tragedy this year and have somehow managed to become real threats. Sure, they got shut out last week, but Carson Palmer is back (okay, I had to look that up, but I only did it after I made my pick) and I think the boys are ready to rock their home field advantage. Eight Five has been a bit less obnoxious over the past few games, so I am even willing to be excited if they win.

My Pick: Bengals, well fought, but not down-to-the-wire close

Eagles vs Cowboys

Let's be clear on this - I don't care.

As W.C Fields says - I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally."

Since I am a Giants fan, I want both of these teams to loose. I cannot have my way so I have to root for someone. During the game last week, I was rooting for Dallas solely so the Vikings would have a bye week as the #2 seed ("look maw, I learn'ed me something!").

Eagles: On New Year's Eve I predicted Donovan McNabb would win MVP of the super bowl. After last week's crushing defeat by Dallas, I am not sure how likely that is they will even get to the divisional playoff game, but I do know a man playing out the end of his contract has a lot to play for. I also know in August, a lot of commentators were predicting it would be an Eagles/Patriots or Eagles/Chargers super bowl, and I just love it when those guys have to eat crow.

Dallas: The December curse seems to be over and they have to be riding high on defeating the Eagles, Redskins and New Orleans. Let's not mistake this week for a repeat of last week, however. Overconfidence may play a huge factor in this game and, fancy new stadium or not, they have been walloped in their own house more than once this season. And can you really beat a team 3 times in a row that othet the Raiders or the Lions.

Is it me, or did Tony Romo man-up and become more likable after his relationship with Jessica Simpson was over?

My Prediction: I started to say Dallas but the word got stuck in my throat. I call Eagles, but not by much. I think they are going to rally and get it together and possibly cause an injury.

But as I said - this week I don't care. Next week, I care.

Friday, January 8, 2010

A Perky Butt and Double Love-Handles

My husband never lets me down, In true man form, I asked him if I could ask him a football question and he burst out laughing before I could even get to the question. I wanted to know whom the officials worked for. 2 breathes and 6 tears later, he manages to pull himself together and says “the NFL.”

Duh. What I meant was, do they always work with a particular team or area of the country or stadium or division? Eventually, he provided me with following answer:

College referees stay in their conference (Big 10, Big East, SEC, etc).
Professional referees work wherever they are needed throughout the NFL.

Thank you.

After a brief discussion about special teams, time outs, and Dan LaFever (seriously, how is this guy not going to be a star someday), he pretty much startles the cats and dog out of the room with his continuous laughter and I told him I was going to beat him in predictions next year. He countered that the only thing I would base picks off of was perky butts. I said there was probably some justification for that since you can’t have a perky butt without having powerhouse thighs. He said “what are you going to do about linemen.” I replied “more love handles, less impact?”

The laughter continued.

This is all in good fun, of course. He plans to participate in a high school reunion football game in October and it would look better if I could yell at the ref “what are you, blind – that was pass interference” and knew what pass interferences was. Isn’t pass interference just an interception gone wrong?

Stop laughing, Fred.

As for last night's BSC championship game, I came in during the second half. It was boring until the "freshman quarterback" got into his groove and kept Texas from getting smashed. I did think it was hilarious that one of the announces said McElroy had not lost a game he started since 8th grade and at that moment the camera caught him picking his nose. Mark Ingram was also pretty amazing to watch when he came back in the game - I think he is going to have problems with that hamstring for a while though. I was glad Alabama won, but doubt it would have happened if Colt McCoy had not been injured. And frankly, I don't care. College football is not nearly as interesting as pro, and this weekend looks to be exciting. I have not figured out my picks yet, but they will be forthcoming.

And I will not base them on butts and love-handles.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Football Fraud

I call myself a fan, but the truth is, I am a football fraud. I grew up listening to my mother both curse and glorify Phil Simms, my grandfather yelling “it’s fixed!” and John Madden announcing in the background while I caught up on homework. One would think I would have learned something other than the Giants are the blue team and a ref holding his hands up means “it’s good”, but the fact is, I am a football fraud.

I listen to Mike and Mike in the morning, my car stereo has been tuned into sports talk radio for the past two years, I watch Outside the Lines and Sports Center, and hear my husband agonize over his fantasy line up. I can talk the talk, except I don’t really know what I am talking about. When it comes to understanding what special teams are, the difference between a linebacker and a defensive linemen, calculating downs and where they are without the newfangled line they superimpose on the TV, or just about anything else other than how to score or interceptions and fumbles, I am a sorry fan.

I have decided it is time to rectify the situation.

I have to preface the following with a big “my husband is wonderful in every way,” however like nearly every other man I know, he derives an indecent amount of pleasure when I ask a stupid question about a penalty or why the officials sent a team back 15 yards. And like nearly every man I know, he won’t give a straight answer. At Labor Day party this past summer, the men cackled when any of the women offered observations or asked questions about elements of the game, but provided no explanations. I remarked that if they had a question about “women things” like makeup, periods, or fashion we would offer to explain in depth . . . then it occurred to me that men never ask these questions in the first place. It also occurred to me that maybe they like laughing at our ignorance to have one up on us, or maybe they have no idea themselves but hide under the mantra “I watch, therefore I know.” Well I am tired of having football knowledge lorded over me as if I am some little lady that is a bit too slow on the uptake to understand what the men are on about.

Of course there are plenty of women who do know the game well and perhaps grew up on a male relative’s knee learning the game. But football has no collegiate counterpart for women sports like basketball, soccer, field hockey or softball. It is the one area we can talk about, but can’t really experience because there is no football for women. Women are tolerated as announcers on the sidelines, but not in the commentator boxes and defiantly not as experts in the documentaries or weekly summary shows. And I must admit, though I am sure women like Reshia Candidate are knowledgeable sports professionals, most women would probably agree female football commentators and analysts seem out of place. I can’t help but feel they are tools so ESPN can deny gender bias while not actually giving her anything important.

On the eve of the BCS (right?) championship bowl, I am going to make my official first pick: Texas beats Alabama.

Why: The Heisman trophy winner was the sophomore from Alabama and you could see the trying-to-be-magnanimous-but-feeling-gypped look on Colt McCoy’s face. He has a vendetta not to mention an upcoming draft and the boy wants to prove himself in a way that I think will rock Alabama’s defense. Most of the commentators are picking Alabama, which usually means the underdog will be even more inspired to crush the hype.

I also personally can’t stand Colt McCoy. I have no reason for this. The guy is a poster child of Christian do-gooding and I sure is a lovely individual – there are just some quarterbacks I instantly dislike and he is one of them (for the record, the others are, in order of loathing: Tom Brady, Aaron Rodgers, Mark Sanchez and Ben Rothlesburder. John Elway was number one for the 20th century). This really has nothing to do with my pick, I just thought I would mention it.