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I am a female football fraud. By the end of the 2010 season, I plan to go from a talker to a knower and crush the game predicting competition. Why do I call myself a fraud? Click here to find out!

Monday, August 2, 2010

My Top 5 Scum-bag Moves of the Off-Season

Ahh, summer camp is almost over and it is time for the pre-season to start. And it may be the last year for a pre-season of any consequence, at that. In the idyllic months since the Superbowl concluded and the college bowl games serenaded their seniors (and some juniors) to the NFL draft, let us not forget the some of the more idiotic moments from the 2010 off-season.

Seriously – now we are going to yell at reporters for NOT interpreting a direct quote. I though the big beef with media was misquoting and trying to influence the reader to think a certain way. A tweet is just a way to make you read the full story, not THE full story. Meyer was not defending his player by accusing the reporter of harassment, threatening to ban the Orlando Sentinal, and saying if it was his kid the reported has quoted it would be “on.” He was just shooting off before gathering the facts . . . I wish the reporter had said something snarky like “Are you sure you are ‘hydrated’ enough old man?” Sure it would have ended his career at the paper, but probably would have started his career as an ESPN commentator! The whole incident is nowhere near as cool as Mike “I’m a man, I’m 40” Gundy’s overreaction of a few years ago, but he gets an A for effort.

4. Chad Ochocinco transitions to celebrity whore

You go 8-5! Prepare for retirement by getting your name out to the legions of reality TV junkies who don't know what your real reality TV gig is. I admit I never watched Dancing with the Stars and the 2 episodes of his dating show that I did see makes me wonder about his eyesight. I have to give credit where it is due though, he may be a loud-mouth exhibitionist, but I hear narry a peep about drugs, guns, and baby mama drama. I suspect he has figured out just how foolish is foolish enough to get air-time while keeping out of any real trouble.

3. Ben Rothlessburger applauded for bagging a broad in the bathroom

You would think I would have put this at #1, but frankly, his little trysts are barely shocking anymore. What is surprising is that the commentators and fans still love Big Ben, and defend him as if the public has no right to expect something admirable from their well-compensated role models. Equally unsurprising was the blaming of the victim, who probably wanted to heal in private rather than be known for the rest of her life as the girl who "asked for it." How cliche. At any rate, we should know soon if this latest adventure will cost him 4 or 6 games. What we don't know yet is what the next scandal is going to be. My money is on a tubing accident.

2. Shaun Rogers violates TSA regulations

So I am not sure if I am more stupefied over "Big Baby" Rodgers bringing a handgun on board or that the TSA agents at the security check-point actually found it. Forgetting you left a weapon in one of your bags says a lot about you as a person, and none of it fills me with the warm fuzzies. However, he is currently receiving praise from Cleveland police for alerting them to an erratic driver who turned out to be intoxicated. I guess now that they have a fighting shot at a championship in the foreseeable future with Colt McCoy leading the team, the police will forgive and rejoice over almost anything (see #3).

1. Michael Vick needs a thesaurus for "sorry"

When you are young, you are supposed to learn from your mistakes. When you are in your 20's you own your mistakes. By the time you hit 30, you deserve your mistakes. So Vick has a shootout during his big 3-0 party and what mistakes has he learned from? None of them. And if 18 months in the slammer didn't give him a clue, he never will.

Honorable Mention: Anyone else feel a tug of glee when Dez Brynat sprained his ankle after his temper tantrum over carrying a veteran player's pads? Maybe now someone will put him down for that nap he needed to smooth out his fussy britches! I would like to point out, I called in during the draft. Thank you.

Scum-bag Move Anticipation: If Brett Farve actually announces his retirement (rather than reading it from an anonymous source close to the team) because the ankle is not healing properly, great. For me, he goes out on a high note. If he does the old un-retire after camp ends, then I may have to renounce my fandom. Something about this time though makes me believe he is really done.

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