What this Blog is About

I am a female football fraud. By the end of the 2010 season, I plan to go from a talker to a knower and crush the game predicting competition. Why do I call myself a fraud? Click here to find out!

Monday, August 16, 2010

5 Pre-Season Positives

No, this is not about drug tests! I have been sporadically watching games and sports shows all week and am excited by many of the players I have seen.

Jimmy Clausen - I realize it is a little early to start making proclamations, but I like his swagger a lot better at Carolina than I did at Notre Dame. He seemed to have dropped what I saw as a whiny and cocky attitude and traded it in for a quietly confident presence on the field. His game face is pretty intimidating too. I do not know if he will take the QB spot from Moore, but it does have that Sanchez-Jets feel of last season. Plus, I love watching a good rain-game!

Tim Tebow - I am glad he shaved off the Friar Tuck 'do. I have now idea why I want this guy to do well. I have always disliked the Bronchos, McDanials is a chip off the ole' Belichick, and anyone who knows me knows I do not participate in evangelical worship or public displays of do-gooding. I just plain like a guy who has an honest conviction, a willingness to go with the flow, and an eagerness to change what is familiar for the betterment of self and team. Watching him is entertaining, especially since he can play rough and tumble.

Victor Cruz - Was it 3 one-handed catches? I lost count. There is something extra-special about an undraft stud working his heart out at camp for a job. If the Giants do not take this guy, they have lost their minds. I combine Cruz with the Giant's win at Meadowlands 2.0 into the same positive pre-season moment since he is largely responsible for the inaugural defeat!

Tony Dungy - Calling out Rex Ryan's bombastic, obscenity-laden, and attention-seeking behavior in Hard Knocks specifically may sound sanctimonious and hypocritical to some, but the cursing and showboating is annoying to many people in the league. Since Dungy is not coaching anymore and is an analyst, he has the freedom to speak his mind. Plus, his opinion resulted in Rex's daddy getting defensive and showing his own insecurities by insinuating Dungy is a nobody. Sunrise, sunset.

Lost Treasures of NFL Films - We stumbled across this show one night and it is an amazing 5-part documentary from 1999 about the evolution of NFL films and football from the 1960s. The footage had never been shown before because the films had been accumulating dust in a storage room for a couple of decades. They compiled other "Lost Treasure" seasons and you can find some of them on Hulu, otherwise they have this On Demand on the NFL network.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Hard-Knocks

I am sitting here watching the first episode and my love for Rex Ryan continues it's path to agenesis.

Just kidding, Rex Ryan is 1.0001th place on the list of coaches I wish would go away. Who is #1? If you have been paying attention, you should not have to ask.

I thought this show was supposed to be about the players, not Ryan eating at "Ryan Cafe" and spouting f-bombs for an hour. Watching the guys get cut at the end got me in the gut too - a shame Ryan did not look them in the eye to tell them they were being let go. I hope at the end of the 2010 season, Joe Namath remains the only Jets super bowl QB. The first game is on Monday night - GO GIANTS!

I also hope Revis holds out and gets traded to someone who will pay him what he is worth. In any other sales job, you would get a raise based on performance. All athletes are salesman. The better or more engaging they are, the more seats, merchandise, and advertising gets sold. Sure they have more risk of injury than your average Honda dealer, but the more I hear about the disparity in contracts and the way players are hung out to dry if they are injured or do poorly, the more I support yearly performance evaluations and profit sharing. More on that in a later post.

Oh, and number one is Bill "the bilker" Belichick, for those in doubt!


Saturday, August 7, 2010

Hall of Fame Weekend

After a week at UT Memphis and little sleep, I crashed and did not get to watch the induction in its entirety. I did catch the speeches from the men responsible for this being named the biggest talent class in FHOF history.

Jerry Rice: I like what this man had to say. Fear of failure as a driving force to success and "no negativity" can make you weak. I love how he ribbed Smith a bit durning his speech and ow good competition forces you to improve your game. Pride, respect, teamwork, striving for perfection and, as a nice adaptation from JFK's speech, caring more about what you can to for football than what football can do for you should be the point of playing - not showboating and getting attention for antics both on and off the field. Very nice. Unfortunately, the point was not taken by TO and 8-5 who ran around with the yellow jacket proclaiming yet begging for a future HOF legacy.

Emmit Smith: I don't think anyone was too surprised at Smith getting emotional right from the start. I nearly teared up when he singled out Troy Aikman and Micheal Irvin - "without you, there is no me. That is why we are called the triplets!" and then Daryl "moose" Johnson. I enjoyed his story about how he got where he is today and how he singled out all the members of his family. Especially touching was the story about living the dream of his father By sharing the same name with him, his, grandfather, and son, they were all going into the Hall of Fame. He also gave some great advice - write your goals down, be consistent, put your family first, and "claim your inner champion, never let others define you - you define yourself."

Bengals meet the Cowboys tonight!

Monday, August 2, 2010

My Top 5 Scum-bag Moves of the Off-Season

Ahh, summer camp is almost over and it is time for the pre-season to start. And it may be the last year for a pre-season of any consequence, at that. In the idyllic months since the Superbowl concluded and the college bowl games serenaded their seniors (and some juniors) to the NFL draft, let us not forget the some of the more idiotic moments from the 2010 off-season.

Seriously – now we are going to yell at reporters for NOT interpreting a direct quote. I though the big beef with media was misquoting and trying to influence the reader to think a certain way. A tweet is just a way to make you read the full story, not THE full story. Meyer was not defending his player by accusing the reporter of harassment, threatening to ban the Orlando Sentinal, and saying if it was his kid the reported has quoted it would be “on.” He was just shooting off before gathering the facts . . . I wish the reporter had said something snarky like “Are you sure you are ‘hydrated’ enough old man?” Sure it would have ended his career at the paper, but probably would have started his career as an ESPN commentator! The whole incident is nowhere near as cool as Mike “I’m a man, I’m 40” Gundy’s overreaction of a few years ago, but he gets an A for effort.

4. Chad Ochocinco transitions to celebrity whore

You go 8-5! Prepare for retirement by getting your name out to the legions of reality TV junkies who don't know what your real reality TV gig is. I admit I never watched Dancing with the Stars and the 2 episodes of his dating show that I did see makes me wonder about his eyesight. I have to give credit where it is due though, he may be a loud-mouth exhibitionist, but I hear narry a peep about drugs, guns, and baby mama drama. I suspect he has figured out just how foolish is foolish enough to get air-time while keeping out of any real trouble.

3. Ben Rothlessburger applauded for bagging a broad in the bathroom

You would think I would have put this at #1, but frankly, his little trysts are barely shocking anymore. What is surprising is that the commentators and fans still love Big Ben, and defend him as if the public has no right to expect something admirable from their well-compensated role models. Equally unsurprising was the blaming of the victim, who probably wanted to heal in private rather than be known for the rest of her life as the girl who "asked for it." How cliche. At any rate, we should know soon if this latest adventure will cost him 4 or 6 games. What we don't know yet is what the next scandal is going to be. My money is on a tubing accident.

2. Shaun Rogers violates TSA regulations

So I am not sure if I am more stupefied over "Big Baby" Rodgers bringing a handgun on board or that the TSA agents at the security check-point actually found it. Forgetting you left a weapon in one of your bags says a lot about you as a person, and none of it fills me with the warm fuzzies. However, he is currently receiving praise from Cleveland police for alerting them to an erratic driver who turned out to be intoxicated. I guess now that they have a fighting shot at a championship in the foreseeable future with Colt McCoy leading the team, the police will forgive and rejoice over almost anything (see #3).

1. Michael Vick needs a thesaurus for "sorry"

When you are young, you are supposed to learn from your mistakes. When you are in your 20's you own your mistakes. By the time you hit 30, you deserve your mistakes. So Vick has a shootout during his big 3-0 party and what mistakes has he learned from? None of them. And if 18 months in the slammer didn't give him a clue, he never will.


Honorable Mention: Anyone else feel a tug of glee when Dez Brynat sprained his ankle after his temper tantrum over carrying a veteran player's pads? Maybe now someone will put him down for that nap he needed to smooth out his fussy britches! I would like to point out, I called in during the draft. Thank you.

Scum-bag Move Anticipation: If Brett Farve actually announces his retirement (rather than reading it from an anonymous source close to the team) because the ankle is not healing properly, great. For me, he goes out on a high note. If he does the old un-retire after camp ends, then I may have to renounce my fandom. Something about this time though makes me believe he is really done.



Monday, July 26, 2010

It's Coming! It's Coming!

Football season is coming and the off-field drama has just begun!

T.O. considering finishing off his career with the Bengals, Dez Bryant already pouting and primping, 8-5 trying to balance football with his second career as a media whore, Brett Farve keeping everyone is hypo-suspense . . . . . and that does not even include all the chatter about strikes, extending the season to 18 games (Mercury Morris is probably breaking open the champagne already) and player union demands.

If the actual games are as exciting as the off-season, I may actually know what I am talking about by the start of the playoffs!


Friday, April 23, 2010

Prime Time Draft Round One: Observations, Scandal Potential, and Predictions Beyond the NFL

Ah, there is nothing like watching a sporting even while chomping on wings at BW3s - much like a casino, there is no sense of time. Thus was the setting for the first ever NFL prime time draft. In the spirit of disclosure, I admit most of the names I recognized were QBs with a few of the others that went in the Top 10. The following observations on a few of the players that stood out to me are based primarily on what I saw of them during the highlight reels, their behavior at the draft, and post-pick interviews, plus a few tidbits I have heard here and there. I also included a scandal potential meter (scale: 1-5*) since it seems to be something coaches and owners need to take into consideration with Commissioner Rodger Goodell at the helm of the NFL.

(2) Ndamukong Suh (Nebraska, now Lion's defensive tackle)
I admit, I never watched him in action during the season but heard the buzz about him for months and watched him at the Heisman ceremony. Whoa, this guy is a beast and has the potential to be a powerhouse in his first season. It is awesome he is donating $2 million to the sports program and endowing a $600K engineering scholarship to his alma matter before he gets his first NFL paycheck!
Scandal Potential: 1
Beyond the NFL: He will help bring foreign students from disadvantaged nations into the collegiate football sphere

(3) Gerald McCoy (Oklahoma, now Buccaneer's defensive lineman)
This guy has passion - crying, hugging Goodell, grinning from ear to ear - he made me feel the excitement of the draft
Scandal Potential: 1
Beyond the NFL: He will marry well, have several children, and become a preacher

(6) Russel Okung (Oklahoma State now Seahawk's offensive tackle)
Yeah - an Oklahoma State Cowboy gets in the top ten (that's for you Fred)! Best green screen dance - no contest.
Scandal Potential: 2
Beyond the NFL: Becomes a PR spokesman for an athletic company and gets into athlete management

(9) CJ Spiller (Clemson, now Bill's running back)
I like a guy who holds out to play his senior year - as they say, there is nothing like playing college ball. This kid was the most nervous before his name was called up by the Bills, despite hands-down having the best suit. He also had the best clip reel of the night and I think will be a super-stud running back. I also think he will be given a nickname that will help him be more recognizable than the other two studs, Bush and Johnson. Let's just hope he gets a QB that will help him get there.
Scandal Potential: 2 (excessive celebration and inconsequential off-field antics)
Beyond the NFL: Reality show circuit, provided it is still en vogue 10 years from now

(10) Tyson Alualu (UCLA, now Jaguar's defensive end)
The guy sharpens his nails, which must explain how he manages to hook into opponents and take them down when it should not be humanly possible. I guess his 10th place pick was unexpected, but other than drawing some blood and probably being responsible for a few concussions, he will probably pan out well.
Scandal Potential: 2
Beyond the NFL: Retires to Hawaii after 5ish years then disappears from public view

(13) Brandon Graham (Michigan, now Eagles, defensive end)
Tied with Alualu for who will injure the most opponents. Best smile of anyone in the draft and I loved how grateful and excited he sounded in his post-pick interview. I really want to root for this guy, but I am still hacked off at the Eagles for McNabb.
Scandal Potential: 3 (just a hunch he may fall into a bad crowd)
Beyond the NFL: Commentator

(14) Earl Thomas (Texas, now Seahawk's safety)
When they called his name, his family was ecstatic. He looked like he was getting ready for 2 fillings and a bridge. For such a "small" guy, he looks like he is carrying some heavy weight. Maybe the new coach will make him smile.
Scandal Potential: 4 (he looks pretty tortured for someone about to make more than the GDP of many small countries - I feel some self-directed abuse possibility)
Beyond the NFL: Rehab or anonymity

(15) Jason Pierre-Paul (South Florida, now Giant's defensive end)
I admit, I wanted Dez Bryant for my Giants - since Plexaco shot himself in the leg, they have been missing a solid wide receiver. His agent was twined around him like an albatross - probably making sure he didn't lose any change out of his pockets in case of backflip. No matter - I hope his antics infuse the team with some enthusiasm.
Scandal Potential: 3.5 (I am getting an Chad Johnson, opps, I mean, Chad Eight-Five vibe)
Beyond the NFL: TV whore - this is a guy who is going to get paid

(24) Dez Bryant (Oklahoma State, now Cowboy's wide receiver)
So, this is who Jerry want to carry on the jersey! I had a near heart attack moment when I missed the Patriot's trade up to the Cowboys and thought he was going to New England. Phew. I wonder how this kid is going to get on with Romo. The guy is already fringe trouble - just because he was suspended for a stupid rule does not change he was suspended. And the Cowboys are hardly the outfit to get a guy to straighten up and fly right . . . but they are pretty good at keeping people from getting caught.
Scandal Potential: 4 (media and ego)
Beyond the NFL: He will be the one to make Skip Bayless stroke out

(25) Tim Tebow (Florida, now Bronco's QB)
I get that the NFL is not college and that you can be a stud in one and a flop in the other. If the fans are bummed because they think McCoy or Clausen or a non-QB pick would have made more sense, that's rational. What I do not get is the battery of nasty comments - things like he is going to get the Broncos to change their mascot to a fetus and the mission trips are just an excuse to molest little Filipino boys. And seriously, insinuating a conspiricy when all of his crew had Broncos hats? His agent, knowing everyone predicted he would not be a first round pick, even said he knew almost certainly where Tebow would be drafted. I am not sure when being a humble, chaste, family oriented, humanitarian became so scandalous, but it seems to make him grateful for the opportunity to work hard and fix his deficiencies. He seems like a kid who practices what he preaches and I think he will get a ring in the next 7 years. The more people whine, insult, accuse, and pick the guy apart the more I am rooting for him.
Scandal Potential: 1 (crying for anything other than a superbowl win won't fly in the NFL)
Beyond the NFL: He will continue to spend his time and money on philanthropy, marry a hot veterinarian or pediatrician type, and make it to the US Senate by the time he is 40.


Naturally there was much more to talk about than these few players, not just who was drafted, but who was passed over in the first round. Since I have a mini-marathon to run tomorrow, I will have to bow out of most of round two. But stay tuned - more snap judgements and unprofessional opinions to follow!





Thursday, April 22, 2010

Prime Time Draft: Pre-Post

I am not sure if I am more excited to see the first round picks or to have wings at BW3, but either way, I am looking forward to tonight's festivities. Some of my favorite QBs, Tebow and LeFevour, are probably not going to go in the first round. My nemesis, McCoy, will probably be the second QB to get drafted behind Bradford, whom I have no particular feelings about but would think it pretty cool if he "made it," despite being out an entire season.

I am sort of on pins and needles to see if there is going to be a change in draft order if the Steelers decide to do a last minute trade with Roethlisberger. I am also interested to see if the Redskins decide to sign TO and how that may alter their picks. And just which NFL hopeful does Jerry Jones think will be his next miracle . . . or jersey salesman?

Tonight is going to be a good night!